Many Bollywood romance films are known for their meandering plot lines, one of which may be a remake of a B-grade Hollywood romcom, but with at least six song and dance routines thrown in for good measure. All the signs will experience this same sort of randomness and drama. With Valentine’s Day this week and Saturn remaining in Capricorn in downward dog while Neptune does lunges in Pluto’s big dipper, everyone’s love hormones and desire to lead flash mob dances will heighten. Some of you will experience something akin to a repeat of a B-grade romance with formulaic twists and turns, but live it up. Welcome the cheesiness into your life. All signs will be susceptible to deepening relationships and are prone to giving even the briefest flings a sense of importance this week. That’s OK, go with the flow, have a good time and if nothing else, you’ll have stories of fun flings and experiences breaking the humdrum of life.


Saturn is at home in your sign, and you’re at home in your body, feeling more sensual than ever, one may even say hornier. Haha, get it, you’re a goat! OK anyway, take advantage of it with a partner who understands that your taciturn nature conceals a passionate heart. Try something new with the one you trust the most and discover just how deep those passions run. Rinse and repeat. This will be an orgasmic week, Capricorn, a week where even you will be all too happy to lose control.


You’re a water sign so start acting like it, Aquarius! Like water, be fluid, receptive, and wet. That’s right. You keep trying to alter your natural state. Back in the day, you’d go with the flow but past heartache has made you salty. Take this week to touch base with the old, passionate you and let your unbridled passion out, even if it means wearing a clingy saree in the rain, gyrating around trees, and partaking in a romance that is unabashedly cheesy but fulfilling.


Thanks to Venus in your sign this week, you’re anything but a cold fish. You’re swimming in deep currents of emotion, swept up with your current romance and ready to take things farther. Keep going with your intuition, Pisces, and you won’t be lead astray. Also, this is the week to try that new sexual position you’ve been fantasizing about. You will not be disappointed. Go on now, getcha groove on.


Aries know who they want and aren’t afraid to go after the target of their affections. That’s a smart strategy as your next love match seems endearingly shy at first. Don’t be fooled, though – behind that reserved exterior is a fiery passion. Let him/her enjoy going from chaste to chased as you go on the prowl. Throw in a good Bollywood-style dance number for shits and giggles.


Luxury-loving Taurus will revel in a sensuous fling this week with a partner who’s deeply into you, perhaps figuratively and literally. As Uranus moves into Taurus, you’ll want to explore your experimental side with a lover you trust completely. If self-consciousness has been holding you back, this is your week to say f**k it, shed inhibitions, and embrace the sexual electricity that happens when you no longer have to be perfect. Only when you let go of the idea of perfection will you experience the perfect romantic scenario. Oooooh, deep.


Maybe it’s Saturn’s transit of Capricorn, but you’re feeling an urge to settle down recently, an unusual state for you. Fortunately for you, your latest prospect is a better match than you think. Expect some emotional friction at the beginning of the week, followed by some steamy friction of a different kind as you make up again. The night of the 14th will be your time to shine as the waxing moon pulls your partner closer into your orbit, and into you.


You’re ready to be pampered and petted, but who’s around to indulge you? It may not be who you think! Look a little farther afield than your usual collection of possible partners, even though you have plenty, lucky sign that you are. You’ll find someone outside your usual type, possibly an Aquarius or Libra, whose massage skills will have you melting. Give in to the pleasure, but don’t give up too much of your heart. A more lasting love is a few months away if your spastic ass can wait to commit. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy those massages in the interim.


Even an apex predator like you sometimes lives a little dangerously, and you could lose your heart if you aren’t careful, lovely lioness. You’ll see an old partner in a new light, which could spell trouble if your new flame’s still hot for you. Avoid getting burned by taking some time to yourself and discovering what you need now. The one who loves you most will still be there when you’re ready. And though Valentine’s Day is this week, its actually the 15th and 17th that’ll present you with some truly steamy sexual encounters.


Forget about all those horoscope guides that call you prim and restrained. You’re ready for some uninhibited fun with your sweetheart. Thanks to Mercury’s influence, you’ll be on one another’s wavelength this week. Make the most of this insight with some dope AF naughty talk about everything you want to do to each other, and then do it, Virgo, go a little wild this week and it’ll put a pep in your step for weeks to come.


It’s a good thing you have such an exquisite sense of balance because you’re about to perform a virtuoso juggling act with two passionate paramours. Should you choose the one who makes you laugh or the one who makes you feel adored? As Venus moves deeper into Pisces, you’ll lean toward the one who’s your intellectual and spiritual equal. It’s lonely up on that pedestal anyway, and laughter is good for your abs. By the end of the week, you could find your fun and flirty relationship deepening into something sweeter.


It’s an embarrassment of riches for Scorpions this month. You’ll draw smoldering looks from more admirers than you can handle, one of whom might be a past lover who just can’t get enough of you. You’ve had enough of him/her, though, so move on to more exciting possibilities. With Jupiter moving into your star sign, you’re feeling playful, so plan something deliciously offbeat with a person who’s just as spontaneous as you.


Bold archer, patience isn’t your strong suit. This would be the week to learn the art form of patience. Try not to be a total bug-a-boo and pressure your love interest to commit this week just because Valentine’s Day romance bullshit is in the air. Will you even have a Valentine this week? Probably not. But give space, and you’ll be given a commitment of the heat that’ll go well beyond one dopey Hallmark-fabricated day.


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