Artwork by Kanan Shah

Everyone was ready to pack away the drama and the doldrums of 2017, yet some of the residual funk of the previous year crept into January. Fear not, February 2018 promises to be better and will set the tone for a banner year for careers, relationships and all the gourmet desi food you want, depending on which side of Ladki Luck you happen to be on. The moon is a dominant influence this month, starting with the Blood Moon special that ushered in February. February will be better for many, if not harder in terms of needing to have difficult conversations and letting go of situations and people that are holding you back. Overall advice for all: if you didn’t make this your mantra for the new year, do so now and now and be out with the old and in with the new. Ready to rock this week? Leggo!

CAPRICORN

Major life developments have roiled your placid existence. A breakup, an engagement, job loss or career change – whatever shook up your straightforward track has left you feeling overwhelmed. Everything depends on perspective, Capricorn. You are a winner because you think you are, even if that engagement party just wiped out your 401K because you have no other savings to begin with. Don’t give up now. And if nothing else keeps you going strong, keep going to spite your ex and communicate the vibe that you’re not just alright, you’re f**king KILLING IT. As they say, fake it ’til you make it. Oh, and post pics of yourself wearing what would have been your engagement lehenga and looking fly AF. No reason for a gorgeous outfit to go to waste. See, perspective, Cap.

AQUARIUS

This is your season, Aquarius. The Sun has entered your sign. You are the least likely to make New Year’s resolutions, but this is the right time to take stock of your dreams and the promise within you. Grab a pen, and start a bucket list. Don’t forget to throw in a few lines about making your Ma happy because she will eventually find that list because, duh, she’s a desi mom and goes through your personal belongings. That’s the least of your concerns now. What you should expend all your energy in is mapping how you’re going to be the best version of you. This week is the time to journal and figure that ish out. Go ahead, dream big, write it down, then go back to your regularly scheduled naptime.

PISCES

Time to get up and reclaim that glow, Pisces. Your sign is traversing the Mars cycle, which should be a good time for recovery, rejuvenation and an oil change. You’ll find good deals on the third option, but you’re on your own for the first two. Don’t worry. Keep calm and keep on doing you. No one cares, really. However, keep your ears peeled for that special message. Someone will either help you rise or take you down with their words. Stay alert but not paranoid, which is a tricky balance to strike but if anyone can do it, it’s you, Pisces. Slather on the kajol and black tikka to ward off the evil spirits if you’re really ’bout it.

ARIES

Your plans for world domination in a samosa-eating competition is on track. But you need to watch your back, Aries. The enemies are at the gate, and they intend to take prisoners. Grab those new Converse All-Stars out of the glass case and lace them up. It’s time to warm up for the long and arduous tasks ahead. You will be called upon to show how champions are made, so go ahead; be an inspiration. But keep some Tums in your pocket at all times.

TAURUS

Venus enters your house, Taurus. Be prepared for some major changes in your relationship dynamics. Be ready to take the lead if you’ve been the sheep all this time. On the other hand, if you’ve enjoyed the submissive role, grab the bull by its horns, and shake it up. Oh wait, you’re the one with the horns. Keep going, then.

GEMINI

You will be in peak-schizoid mode, Gemini. Embrace your many personalities because this is your superpower. There are endless advantages to a multidimensional personality. There’s always someone else to blame for the public displays of errant behavior, of which you will have many opportunities to display in February as the Sun enters your sign.

CANCER

Cancer, the galaxy can’t do without you at this turbulent time. Your deep insights will be even more profound given that Uranus is in retrograde in your sign. You will have the capacity to analyze complex problems and proffer world-changing solutions. So, revisit that Excel file you started on New Year’s Eve. Yeah, that one about improving income and reducing expenses. You have it in you to make this balanced-budget goal happen, or you can just nuke that file and enjoy life. Either way, pick a path and commit.

LEO

Leo, remember, no pain, no gain, even if that means ending longtime friendships because they’re toxic, so be it. Use this week to take stock of all those people and social situations that are holding you back from truly being the leader and life force that the cosmos intend for you to be. And once you make that Bye, Felica list, execute. Take this week to let go. Thereafter, let out a guttural roar to remind the Universe and its inhabitants that you’re a f**king Leo, no one or thing stands in your way.

VIRGO

Oh, sweet mother of the earth that you are Virgo, the world needs your steadying grace in these turbulent times. No major changes in your relationships, health, and career are lurking in the corners to shake up your staid existence. In other words, same old, same old for you. However, take the time to spread your vast knowledge of good and evil, and you will harvest the rewards in the next lunar cycle as the moon rises in your house. Not a bad position to be in, eh? Count your lucky blessings and keep doing you, Virgo.

LIBRA

You are all about ensuring balance in your life, or at least that’s what your New Year resolutions say. You copied those, word for word, from Oprah’s Lifeclass, but you are determined to make them your own. Eat a balanced diet, strike the perfect balance between work-life and life-life, and find time to smell the roses, the lilies and the wet dogs that invariably shelter on your doorstep after a rainstorm. Good for you, Libra. You may never rule the world, but you’ll always have the perfect cup of chai in your oh-so-organized kitchen. Just remember to plan for some fun else you will find yourself going a lil bat-shit crazy by the week’s end, Libra.

SCORPIO

There’s a classified study that has been deep-sixed by jealous industry experts because it is proof that Scorpios are the most tech-literate of the signs. A significant number of hackers were born under the sign of Scorpio, and with Venus moving into the astral phase, your keen understanding of algorithms will come into play. Don’t waste your time hacking the U.S. Postal Service. Nobody but third-rate marketers use the USPS anymore. Go for the big guns like international newspapers, top-tier TV shows and Grindr. Have fun with the information you unearth. Karma needs a little help, sometimes, and you are her messenger.

SAGITTARIUS

You are experiencing the afterglow of a rare lunar event. You are feverish with enthusiasm. You are burning with energy. You have rewritten your Life Goals for 2018 about 127 times in the last few days. This is understandable as the Sun is in Aquarius, infusing Sagittarians with boundless optimism for unexplained reasons. Nonetheless, you are approaching the creative peak, so grab those paintbrushes, and create that masterpiece, or buy one from Ikea and muck it up to look like it’s yours.

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