What not to do on a First Date

April 24, 2017 Nila Choudhury     KissMeImNila

First dates are rough, heck, dating in general these days is rough. With social media allowing you to stalk the shit out of your latest Tinder date you can know a person’s entire life story before ever meeting them.

It can get scary and we tend to make judgments about our date before we even meet them based on social media. Besides social media secrets, things like rudeness, bad breath or a random habit can turn off your date so you want to be cautious of the little things.

Here are some tips for your next first date!

1. Don’t be Gross

Don’t be gross on your first date, I know it’s not something I need to say but still, you never know who needs a reminder. Don’t pick your nose, fart, burp or eat like a slob. Don’t order messy foods so there is little chance of having juices running down your chin and hands or falling into your lap.

Also be sure to check if you have food stuck in your teeth after you eat. Definitely don’t order anything with too much onions or garlic-you don’t want that bad breath whether you actually kiss or not on the first date.

2. Log Off For the Night

For those souls attached to their phones, this is a reminder that being on your phone constantly during a date is totally rude.

Put your phone on silent, set it aside and actually look at your date. Focus on your date and what they are saying. Whether it is work emails or texts from eager friends for gossip on your date, hold off on checking your phone until after the date, (or at least wait until they go to the bathroom!)

3. No History Lessons, Please

Keep conversations light and more on your latest vacation, your likes and dislikes, etc. Get to know the person in front of you, like where they went to school, what they majored in, why they picked the career they did. There is no need for an overly detailed history lesson on your sex life or dating history.

4. Don’t Drink and Date

Keep your alcoholism on the down-low please, you don’t want to freak out your date or give them the wrong idea from the start. One drink during a first date is acceptable, especially if you know your personality changes drastically when you drink. Sometimes the sweetest people can turn vile when they reach a certain level of alcohol and that can prevent a second date real quick.

You don’t want to be tomorrow morning’s gossip, not the best way to nab that second date.

5. Be Sure to Actually Eat

This tip is more for the ladies than the gentlemen, but, don’t be a prissy brat. Don’t sit and just nibble at your food. Be sure to actually order a meal (that’s not messy,) and eat it!


No one likes a date that doesn’t eat, be normal-unless you’re a slob, in that case just try to be neat as you eat please. Also reminders for all, don’t make slurping sounds while drinking soup, chew loudly or with your mouth open. You don’t have to starve yourself on a date but no need to eat like a barnyard animal either.

**Special note to the ladies: When the check arrives after eating, DO offer the split the bill, it is the polite thing to do. We can’t expect guys to pay for us every time, there shouldn’t be a heavier financial burden on one person more than the other.  You are a strong, independent woman who can take care of yourself. You don’t need someone to take care of you nor do you want to be lumped in with last week’s gold digger. Offering to split the bill, in my opinion, is the respectful and fair thing to do when on a date, whether it is your first or last because a relationship works when two people work together. If your date insists on paying, be sure to mention that you’ll get the next treat or grab dessert at the next spot if you want to continue the night.

6. TMI

Besides exes, don’t mention politics, religion, your personal problems, sex or controversial current events.

Also, don’t reveal too much about your crazy family history, diseases or illnesses, and keep marriage, love, debt, and kids chatter at zero. You can reveal all that information at a later point, there is no need to scare off your partner so soon.

7. Don’t Flake

Don’t be late to a date, punctuality is always well appreciated. Similarly, don’t cancel last minute on a date, unless of course there is a dire emergency. Cancelling last minute is rude, it shows you’re flake and not interested in the date at all.

8. Keep your Eye on the Prize

When you’re on a date with someone, whether it’s your first or your fourth always keep your eyes on your date! Don’t let the sexy siren that walked into the cafe or the hottie with a body who is your waiter have you drooling in front of your date.

Undressing someone else with your eyes while you’re on a date is never the right thing to do, no matter what you’re expecting from this date.

9. Be Prepped!

Be prepared for anything on this first date. If you don’t know where you’re going for the first date, stick with flat shoes for the ladies and comfortable shoes for gents. Ladies be sure to have a compact mirror handy to check for food particles or boogers and don’t forget the sexy lingerie as you many never know where this date may lead.

Some things everyone needs to have handy are mints, floss and some type of mini cologne or body spray in case you sweat too much.

10. Be Positive!

It is natural for things to do wrong, and there will be things neither of you can control. However, if you stay positive about it all and go with the flow, it will make the date easier on both of you.

Bad weather, over booked restaurants, a broken heel, etc there are so many things that can go wrong but with a positive outlook it can change a bad date to an amazing date in seconds.

11. Don’t Follow

Don’t follow your date on Twitter or Instagram or add them on Facebook or SnapChat or link with them on LinkedIn after your first date.

I repeat no social media contact! No need to get clingy after one date, you never know if your date liked you as much as you like them plus you don’t want to scare them off by being too eager.

Hope these tips help! Good luck on your next date.

TAGS: first date, relationship, things not to do

Nila Choudhury

New York born and raised, Nila Choudhury (aka the encyclopedia of useless Bollywood knowledge) is avoiding rishta aunties by obtaining her doctoral degree in clinical psychology.


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