Perfect Sarcastic Answers for Indian Aunties who Wonder why You’re Still Single

October 2, 2017 Saloni Gajjar     saloni_g

There comes a time and age in each person’s life when family members, friends, potential significant others, and even strangers ask the most daunting question of all:

“When are you going to get married?”

While this question may never go away, here are a few bold answers to say about your marital status that will change the way people look at your single status.

1. “I’m not ready to be boring just yet”

 

Instead of giving a spiel on how you’re not ready and you want to focus on your career, just be blunt and obvious in a way that’s funny (at least for you). It’s sure to garner an unbelievable reaction, too, so that’s a plus.

2. “I’d much rather soak up every bit of my youth.” 

Is there a cleverer way to state that you’d rather enjoy the freedom there is in being unmarried?

3. “I am single because [insert celebrity crush name] hasn’t proposed yet.”

Be honest about your fantasy, whether it’s Dev Patel or Drake or Jon Hamm, you kinda wish they’d just swoop into your life.

4. “I don’t think superheroes get married.” 

Go full throttle with your examples. Wonder Woman, Black Widow, Ms. Marvel, Supergirl, they’re all killing it and guess what? They ain’t got no husband, either. Simply let the person know that you are too busy saving the world one day at a time, leaving no time for marriage.

5. “Why aren’t you *single?*”

A classic reverse spin! List all the pros of being single. The amazing sense of freedom, being uncommitted to someone. Yeah, remind them of what they’re missing out on.

6. “Why are you still married?”

Feel free to continue elaborating on all the great perks of being unmarried, like not having to share the bed or worrying about a prenup.

7. “I guess I got lucky.”

Yeah, you did. Being single and unmarried has often been looked as a disgrace—forget about that taboo.

8. “I love my money too much to share it with anyone.” 

 

This one pretty much speaks for itself. Your dough is your dough. Why would you want to share it with anyone else?

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Saloni Gajjar

Saloni Gajjar is the content editor for The Teal Mango. Her passion lies in pop culture writing to show the arts as mirror of our society and hopefully help break the barriers associated with South Asians living in the U.S. Plus, TV stuff is just freaking awesome.

saloni_g

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