Our Casting of the Bollywood Version of ‘The Real Housewives’

This past Wednesday saw the premiere of the tenth season of The Real Housewives of New York and only one episode in and the craziness has already spun out of control. Bethenny busted out a fresh and bottomless can of whup-ass on Ramona, Dorinda sank into sloppy drunkenness and spoke in tongues like only she can do, and then there was the tone deaf and racist AF Lu showing up in blackface to pay respect to Diana Ross at a Halloween party.

Is this even real life? Well, not entirely. It is reality television life though. You have to wonder how much is scripted or done to get attention, even if its negative. All their extra-ness gets ratings, that’s for sure. America stays entranced by all the spilled tea of these batty women.

And as extra as they are, we can imagine a crew of women that have the potential to bring even more drama, wealth, and out there personalities if The Real Housewives franchise were to include a Bollywood series with, you guessed it, the women of Bollywood. RHONY would dwarf in comparison to the brazen divas of Bollywood. Read on to see who we would cast, why, and all the potential chai that has the potential to be spilled.

The Real Housewives of Bollywood

Twinkle Khanna

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The queen of blunt statements and witty comebacks, Twinkle Khanna is definitely a must-have on The Housewives of Bollywood. She’s known for her quick-wit and take-no-ish from anyone attitude, a characteristic found in at least one housewife in each of the franchise’s series. Also, Khanna has quite the impressive resume, with her being a former actress, loving wife, hard-working mother, published author, influential blogger, and talented film producer. She’s also the award-winning CEO of The White Window, the Mumbai based prestigious home decor showroom.

Though her words get her into trouble at times, Khanna is always ridiculously entertaining. She’s also that family-oriented character who has her sh*t together. Khanna has handled motherhood, marriage, and a career quite well so she would be a well-rounded addition to the show who keeps everyone in check.

Sussanne Khan

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Sussanne Khan is famously known for her filmy family—like brother Zayed Khan, uncle Feroz Khan, cousin Fardeen Khan, and her ex-husband, Hrithik Roshan. The single mother of two is an interior designer and last year she teamed up with friends Malaika Arora and Bipasha Basu to be style editors at a The Label Life curating clothing, home decor, accessories and more. Would Twinkle Khanna’s status as a big shot in home decor be competition to Khan’s own star power in the world interior design? We’re sensing some Bethenny and Ramona drama here!

Springing 😇🦋🌈#mybeautifulfamily #gratefulheart❤

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Khan also has a pretty drama-filled personal life, with rumors often splashed about her on the news of alleged drug abuse and affair-filled relationships.

She also brings an inside look at the film fraternity because although she grew up among stars, though she is not an actress.

Shilpa Shetty

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Shilpa Shetty also wears many hats. She’s an actress still, has developed a successful fitness brand, and has worked in reality shows. Shetty won the U.K’s reality show “Big Brother” becoming an international star, and sits on a panel of judges on various reality shows.

Shetty is probably the most wholesome and un-drama filled person on this list, but every show needs a gorgeous girl-next-door, someone more low-key to offset drama a la Carole Radziwill of RHONY.

Malaika Arora Khan

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Item number queen Malaika Arora Khan is newly divorced and a sexy AF diva. She’s bold, vibrant and would definitely be the wild card on this show.

#malaikasmondaymotivation ….keep it real n raw….. @reebokindia

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Opinionated, feisty, and unapologetically sexy, Khan would bring the heat in a way Sonja Morgan cannot comprehend. We’d see some cameo appearances from her fabulous little sister Amrita Arora, best friend Kareena Kapoor Khan, ex-husband Arbaaz Khan, and brother-in-laws Salman Khan and Sohail Khan.

Mira Kapoor

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There is always a young character who is straight out of left field, so why not include Shahid Kapur’s young and stunning wife, Mira Kapoor? She’d be like Tinsley of this season or Jules of yester-season.

Oh, you make me smile

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In a short time, Mira Kapoor has become quite the influencer and her outside perspective to the industry would make for great television. She’s real, different, and the drama in her life is actually relatable.

She’s a first-time mom and she had an arranged marriage to a superstar. Kapoor went from wandering the mall with friends to being followed by security and fans everywhere. From her interviews, we can see she has a blunt personality who views the film fraternity as strange creatures. Her outsiderness would make for interesting interactions with the other women of greater Bollywood fame.

Karishma Kapoor

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With Malaika Arora on the list, how could we not have one of her best friends, Karishma Kapoor, the Queen of awkward 90s dancing?

Kapoor was one of the most sought-after actresses in her youth. She has since left the film industry, got married, had children, separated from her husband, tried to return to the film industry and finally was granted a divorce in 2016. She has been a single parent for a while now and has started dating again—maybe she can give Arora some tips?

#wegotthemoves‼😉😂#candid📸#repost#indiatodayconclave2018#sisters @india.today

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With gossip queen Kareena Kapoor as her baby sister and a messy divorce behind her, Karishma definitely will bring the much-loved drama to this dream cast! Rumor has it Karishma’s ex-husband is not happy she’s dating again. Lights, camera, action! Hell, she could have her own reality show and we’d watch.

Bipasha Basu

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Fitness goddess and fantasy woman Bipasha Basu is definitely the perfect addition to this crew. Men still dream of marrying her but she’s head over heels in love with her husband, Karan Singh Grover.

Though it is her first marriage, it is Grover’s third which has Basu’s fans—and father—very concerned. But they’re so annoyingly happily in love we can’t help but hope for the best while we scrutinize their every move on the show.

Those extra hot scenes in films will have viewers excited to see this couple in regular life.

Basu is still taking on acting roles as well as modeling, making fitness videos, and working as the style editor of accessories on The Label Life along with Malaika and Sussane, which would already make these women a clique on the show. Reeeoooow!

And there you have it, our casting of Bollywood Housewives. Until this comes to fruition, we’ll just have to get our fill of drama stateside via RHONY.